Philosophically

Banner by organicdesigns

General rules of this journal:

I will not friend anyone back unless they comment on this (or some other) entry with a request.

All fic posts will remain public. All private posts are friendslocked for the time being.

All my fic can be found here.

If I don't get back to any comments or questions in timely fashion, please consider that I'm on GMT time, in addition to being a university student with a full schedule.

I'm all for meeting new friends, so please comment if you want to friend me.

Cheers

Šárka

Um, in case some of you aren't watching my Fic Journal, I figured I'd let you know that there was ficcage:

Title: But to Bring a Sword
Fandom: Supernatural
Genre: Missing scene, smut, slight plot.
Pairing: Michael/Lucifer (slight Sam/Dean)
Rating: NC-17.
Spoilers: Assumes knowledge of the main arc elements of Season 5.
Word count: ~ 3.000
Summary: Two forces meet at the edge of the world.

But to Bring a Sword.

I'm kind of happy with this one, guys, even if it's almost totally different from my usual style. (Man, these angels are WORDY!)

YAY. Now, boyfriend, bed. Toodles :D

Today is the birthday of one salixbabylon!

Now, I know not everybody has a Salix, and I have to say I feel sorry for those who don't. She's one of the best people I know, and I feel ridiculously lucky to know her. *loves her to pieces*

And since she's my imperturbable Betareader, who helps me answer weird ass questions like; "who would top, Lucifer or the archangel Michael?", hunts through my stories for errant commas and slays them for the good of punctuation and cheers me on - and up - whenever my characters are being particularly recalcitrant, I wrote her something for her own particular pleasure:

Doth Protest Too Much - SGA; McShep, 2300 words.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY salixbabylon!

So, one of the things I was least looking forward to do during my move was to disassemble the furniture I've scrounged up here in Germany and schlep it down to the basement. My desk is a BEHEMOTH of a thing, and I have some cabinets that must be made out of solid lead, because they weigh a TON.

But guess what? The incoming renter decided to buy out all my furniture. HOMG YAY I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW RELIEVED THIS MAKES ME. Also, that's 50 Euros I wasn't expecting to have.

So, now I've packed four boxes. And I can already tell that sending them to Iceland is going to HURT my wallet, but trying to transport more of these things in my luggage would hurt my wallet MORE and probably hurt my BACK to boot.

So I am very sort of tentatively going "okay, I can DO this" at the moment.

In that vein... I'm going to be doing an awful lot of sitting around waiting/traveling/etc in the next three days, and for some reason I'm not having a lot of luck finding fic to read. I need to put more onto my Mp3 player to read. Help me and rec me some things?

I'm open to most fandoms... lately I've mostly been reading SPN, CWRPS, NCIS and NuTrek, but SGA and Merlin are always appreciated as well. I'm open to almost any pairing, prefer medium-to-longish fics, and would be grateful for any recs at all!

So. Moving.

Again.

Schlepping my stuff across the Atlantic.

Again.

I get it, brain. I get it. Seriously. You are unhappy with me. You are panicked about this. I GET IT.

You did not have to make me wake up screaming and hyperventilating from a nightmare [( This May Be Disturbing To You, It Sure As Hell Was Disturbing To Me )] to get the freaking point across. Jesus.

To distract myself, I've been watching Way Too Much TV. But, hey! A lot of my shows are back! And most of them are awesome. OTOH, I keep sort of poking my nose into fandoms and then shrinking away in terror. I won't name any fandoms but... what's with the girl-character hate? Seriously? I mean... some of these ladies are kickass. And you know what I've noticed, too? It only happens when it's a female character who is confident and capable, and actually able to keep up with or outsmart the male characters on the show. It doesn't happen to the female characters who have carved out their own niches in the character hierarchy and thus don't threaten the dynamic among the other characters.

This Bothers Me.

In unrelated-but-still-TV-news: Criminal Minds. Whoah. *blinks* Did that actually just happen? On network television?

Supernatural tonight in the morning. I never wrote any post-ep deconstruction of 5.02, and I'm not going to now, either. I have a few thoughts, nothing that really qualifies as meta. ( Spoiler cut for those who aren't up to date. Please keep in mind that I am totally unspoiled for future episodes and I'd like to keep it that way. )

( I also have some (very late) thoughts on Season 2 )

Right. I think I'm suitably intoxicated to go to bed without disturbingly realistic dreams of horrible things. There'll be new SPN when I wake up, whoo... so I guess if you comment, you can make references to the third episode without spoiling me. But nothing further in the future than that!

Have a good one, guys!

So I woke up on Friday at 5.30 AM to watch Supernatural with salixbabylon. We totally don't let the fact that we're on either side of the globe stop us. I think this is half the reason she gave me a coffee maker.

Anyway. The funny thing about watching SPN 5x01 is that I've been doing a slow sort of meandering rewatch, and the last episode I watched before Sympathy for the Devil was 1x22, Devil's Trap. I hold this responsible for all the thinky thoughts I keep having.

And the picspam. Particularly the picspam. Because I've never done one of those before and I'm... just. What? (I also keep getting Vid-bunnies for this fandom. I do not make vids. I find this extremely unamusing.)

Anyway, before I inadvertently spoil someone: ( Meta, spoilers and Sammy's puppydogeyes herein. Pretty large-ish graphics, beware if your connection is slow :D )

ETA: Bad sarka! I forgot:

Cap credit: Oxoniensis, inadream_caps, marishna and rageandpride.

ETA @ 00 AM, CET: Since there's a lot of discussion ongoing in the comments, I just wanted to let you guys know that it's just past midnight here and I'm going to bed, so I won't be around for at least eight hours to keep an eye on the place. So far everybody has been totally amazing and full of glee, but I'm a little wary of just disappearing into thin air, anyway :D

If you need me for anything, or need to let me know about anything around here, contact me at sarkapince@gmail.com and I'll deal with it after I've had my morning coffee.

If anybody does anything particularly atrocious, let me know, and I'll deal with it before I've had my morning coffee, thus probably scarring said hypothetical offender for life ;)

Have a good one guys, and thanks for all the chatting! This has been amazing!

This is written after more or less a day of female pain hanging around on the internet, catching up on... well. If you're reading this, you probably have an inkling of all the things I was catching up on. It's written in response to a trend that was bugging the hell out of me, and as such the trend itself looks like it is a backlash against the discourses that fandom has been having - or at least trying to have - for the past year. I ended up deciding to try to own my perspective, which is that of someone with an invisible disability, and hope that I wouldn't offend anyone by not keeping my perspective very narrow.

I am tired.

It's September 11th – well, September 12th, by now, in my part of the world – and the world seems particularly bleak and unappealing and I'm just not willing to go out there today.

Today I don't particularly want to be me - EE; 26 years old, Icelandic, far away from home, grad student who's not quite cutting it, struggling back from the Major Depressive Episode of 2008, panicking about the Future.

But what is perhaps more to the point is that today I don't particularly want to be sarka either; a participant in fandom of 8 years, a veteran of the Harry Potter and LotRiPS fandoms, currently mostly involved in Star Trek and Supernatural fandoms (both the RPS and the FPS), a Fan With Triggers, a Fan In Academia and, apparently, A Harsher of Squee.

( Fandom has been, in the last few months, a pretty serious place, there's no denying that. It's been a whole parade of Fail; RaceFail, WarningsWank and then the most recent SurveyFail. )

Here's a deal, fandom, and I'll keep up my end of it as soon as you keep up yours:

I'll stop harshing your squee, soon as you stop harshing my life.

If I were a computer, I would say I was in desperate need of getting defragmented.

Since I'm not a computer, what I really need is something of manageable size to have fun with when I'm not working on Bigger Things (AKA my MA) rather than the several Epic Fics jockeying for space and typing time on my docket.

So, pick a character from one of my fandoms, (fandom list below) and I'll tell you at least three things about that character's background according to my personal canon. I reserve the right not to enumerate these three things, if that's how they come out, and if I can't think of anything, I may ask you to switch characters. If you pick a character from RPS, obviously it won't be personal CANON, but I can give you three things about how I will always characterize them as a writer.

( Fandoms to play with: )

Anyone?

So, um. Imadeaficjournal.

*blushes madly*

I have been rather prolific recently, and this journal is... seven years old and full of junk and cobwebs and the like, so I figured I'd better just start afresh with an organized fic journal somewhere else.

So. Feel welcome to pop on over to sarkasticfics

And there is even a new fic there, which I haven't posted here before! Yes, the Star Trek Kinkmeme inspired Behemoth of a fic, Twice Shy has now been cleaned up, edited, reformatted, plucked over for commas, and all around shiny-fied and polished, and is posted there.

It's Kirk/McCoy AU. Where Bones is a werewolf. Seriously, guys, don't ask.

But I've almost never before had THIS MUCH RIDICULOUS fun writing a fic, and gotten this sort of reaction from my audience, so, *giggles madly*

Now, to get the rest of the Kinkmeme things cleaned up... or write more Kinkmeme inspired things. Choices, choices...

Title: Every Place That I Have Been (Leaves Its Message on My Skin)
Genre: This part is pretty much smut.
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~ 7500 words
Warnings: Bondage, D/s, Orgasm Denial, lots and lots of swearing.+

Summary: Perhaps, it was best to forget Saturday and go on as if it had never happened. Provided, of course, they'd manage to avoid running into the same hurdles twice. This part inspired by this prompt. McCoy/Kirk, Academy days. Kirk looks pretty when he's begging. Orgasm denial kink ahoy.

First Part in this verse written for this prompt: I want a fic where behind closed doors, McCoy isn't quite as wholesome and squeaky-clean as everyone assumes he is. The man has desires just like anyone else does, but he's not stupid. He's a doctor (dammit) and has a professional reputation to uphold, and (unlike certain best friends of his) he's too professional/far-sighted to go sleeping around with potential patients and colleagues (especially since, perhaps, he's a kinky dirty boy in bed and doesn't want it to get around). So perhaps McCoy goes elsewhere for his sexual-kicks, or has plugged in to some sort of anonymous or kinky Academy subculture. Maybe in your fic he's a secret swinger, or maybe he has some clandestine taboo partner (where it works because of mutual need for discretion...Pike/McCoy). Could be a fic just about McCoy, or could be a fic where Kirk discovers this secret side of Bones (maybe Kirk is finally, finally invited to one of these super-clandestine swinger events and who does he discover is there but Bones?).

Part III in the 'Until the Morning' verse.

Part I - Friday Night - Where Will You Be When the Lights Go Out
Part II – Saturday - (Darkness) Held Me Like A Friend

Author's notes: So I figured this one wasn't done with me yet and I was right, but guys. GUYS. This stopped being funny 8000 words ago. *facepalm*

Also, here's the deal: Once I'd written the second and the third parts, I kept having trouble with the fic. The second part didn't match the original story properly, and the beginning and the end of the second part didn't match each other. It took me some pondering to figure out that,

1. The second part was actually two distinctly different stories (which is kind of hilarious because it was written in more or less one sitting!) and,
2. This is not a multichapter story. This is a series of stories taking place in the same general framework. Each story so far has corresponded to a single day in the narrative – I make no guarantees that this will hold true in the future – which means that there's a tone shift between chapters. I am the sort of writer who likes to let the stories choose how they're told, so I didn't try to wrestle them into a uniform narrative.

Since the whole thing got so Goddamn long, I'm posting it in preliminary posts on my RL journal. It'll get moved to the fic journal once I've gotten it betaed and coded – and once I'm sure the damn thing is finished, hah.

( Every Place That I Have Been (Leaves Its Message on My Skin) )

Title: (Darkness) Held me like a friend.
Genre: This part is pretty much just angst.
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~ 4000 words
Warnings: Bondage. Kind of bad sex. Emo Kirk is Emo. UNBETAED.

Summary: What seemed simple on Friday night isn't so straightforward in the light of Saturday morning.

Part II in the 'Until the Morning' verse.

Part I - Friday Night - Where Will You Be When the Lights Go Out
Part III – Sunday - Every Place That I Have Been (Leaves Its Message on My Skin) | Prompt Thread | Preliminary story post at my journal.

Author's notes: So I figured this one wasn't done with me yet and I was right, but guys. GUYS. This stopped being funny 8000 words ago. *facepalm*

Also, here's the deal: Once I'd written the second and the third parts, I kept having trouble with the fic. The second part didn't match the original story properly, and the beginning and the end of the second part didn't match each other. It took me some pondering to figure out that,

1. The second part was actually two distinctly different stories (which is kind of hilarious because it was written in more or less one sitting!) and,
2. This is not a multichapter story. This is a series of stories taking place in the same general framework. Each story so far has corresponded to a single day in the narrative – I make no guarantees that this will hold true in the future – which means that there's a tone shift between chapters. I am the sort of writer who likes to let the stories choose how they're told, so I didn't try to wrestle them into a uniform narrative.

Since the whole thing got so Goddamn long, I'm posting it in preliminary posts on my RL journal. It'll get moved to the fic journal once I've gotten it betaed and coded – and once I'm sure the damn thing is finished, hah.

Also, in case you don't remember from the first bit, Jim's safeword is "Menubrium".

( (Darkness) Held me like a friend. )

Part 3 - temporary location.

For ibarw. (It's still Sunday somewhere, right?)

Also, beware; I've calculated that the statistical probability of me making an idiot of myself in this post is somewhere around 95%.

So, Star Trek. The fandom I pretended for the longest time I wasn't even in. Of course, then I wrote a 20.000 word story, which I believe put paid to that notion pretty quick. Ha.

( Wherein Sarka sees stupid people on the Internet. )

( What I want to talk about is a particular comment in that particular thread, and how it made my blood boil. )

( Unpacking your privileges when you have so ridiculously many of them. )

( When your Others Look Like You. )

( The Debate Does Not Translate. )

( Let's cut this right away. No real spoilers within, but... )

Oh, god, I don't even know. Shiny fandom is shiny?

*facepalm*

There is ficcage over here.

Instruction Methodology
Fandom: New Trek
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sulu/Chekov
Kink list: Rimming, felching, lots of swearing.
Warning: Chekov is underage.

So, to distract myself from the Other Stuff I was working through this weekend, I wandered onto the Star Trek XI kink meme.

And... you know how I sometimes say my moral standing is lying down? And I keep trying to prop up my moral standing with the argument; "At least I haven't written X fic!"

Well, I seem to have written genderswitch het fic.

*facepalm*

And Genderswitch was one of those things I Was Never Going To Write!

Let your loss be your lesson.

Girl!Chekov / McCoy, NC-17.

Written for the following prompt: McCoy loves eating pussy. It is his goddamn happy place. He could spend hours down there without getting tired. And obviously, he's good at it. Women have to drag his head away, they're so exhausted.

Fic with this, please. Preferably McCoy/Uhura, though McCoy/girl!Chekov would work as well. Your choice as to whether he comes just from eating his partner out, or if he rises up and fucks them even further into oblivion than they were before.

Warnings: Well, it's Chekov/McCoy. The age difference is kind of hot disturbing. Yes.

Warning: Ongoing discussion of potentially triggery themes, especially for people who find the discussion itself triggery.

Well. Some sections of fandom are kind of not wearing any pants lately. Of course, I understand - it must be hard to put on pants when your head is that far up your ass.

So here's a step by step guide for removing your feet from your esophagus and your cranium from your sphincter, should you need to do so.

( Sárka's helpful and occasionally profanity laden guide to civility on the Internet. Or something like it. )

Warning: This post contains a discussion of mental health issues. May be triggery to some.

ETA: I see I've been linked over at metafandom. If any of you are coming from over there, two things: I wrote another post, here which is less emotional and more matter of fact. And probably contains 200% more swearwords.

Also, if this post engenders any discussion, I reserve the right to use what tools I have at my disposal to keep the discussion as safe and respectful as possible. I also reserve the right to do so at my discretion.

---

I've been reading the most recent Warnings Wank all over the internet for the past few hours and I'm a little shocked.

No, scratch that. I'm a lot shocked. As a matter of fact, I'm appalled.

Here's the thing: I'm lucky, in a sense. If I have sexual triggers, I have yet to come across them, and considering the sheer amount of NC-17 fanfic I read, I'm thinking I won't discover any in the future, unless I develop them from trauma. Which, for obvious reasons, I'm hoping won't happen.

But I do have triggers. They're just not sexual. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of utterly random, bizarre and often chaotic triggers which are hard for me to keep track of, let alone anybody else.

( So where do my triggers come from? )

( So here's what I want to know. )

( And no, I don't expect you to take responsibility for my emotional well-being. )

This is my life we're talking about. You CANNOT say that you are entitled to not issue warnings for your fic and then turn around and say that I am not entitled to feel upset about it.

If you are the sort of writer who places a higher premium on your 'artistic integrity' or your ability to surprise your audience, no matter what effects that surprise might have, then yeah, I guess I can respect your artistic integrity.

But I can't respect your integrity as a human being.

Sorry.

And don't you dare give me the 'slippery slope' argument, because it is impossible to argue first that you shouldn't have to issue any warnings and then go on to argue against what you shouldn't have to warn people about. You have a logical fallacy there, and I'm calling people out on it preemptively.

Thank you. I'll get off the soapbox, now.

---
( Associated links. )

Crossposted to spn_gen

Title: Immaculate Conception and other Improbable Situations.
Genre: Supernatural Fanon Gen - Dean, Sam, OFC, Castiel.
Pairing: None.
Rating: PG-13 for swearing.
Warnings: None, really. Unrepentantly schmoopy at the end.
Spoilers: Assumes knowledge of the end of Season 4.
Word count: 2700 words.
Disclaimer: Written for fun and as an excuse not to do homework. Don't sue me. Just fiction.
Summary: The knock on their motel room door came about four months after the apocalypse. Sammy was trying for the eighth time to get the kettle in the kitchenette they'd sprung for to work – long case and Sammy liked cooking, Dean liked having a fridge to store his beer – so it was Dean who opened the door to the heavily pregnant goth girl.

Author's notes: Thanks to salixbabylon, as ever, for the beta and for everything else. This was totally a brain hiccup, when it was written, but I have some further ideas in this direction.

( Immaculate conception and other improbable situations. )

So I was a little too cynical in my last predictions. I loved both the Portuguese and Maltese songs, but I didn't see them going on to finals, and not in a million years did I anticipate Belarussia not making it.

So I'm trying to be a little less cynical for this semifinal.

ETA: Now that I've watched the performances, I think the Dutch act is definitely going through on the cheese factor, and the Ukrainian act is going through as well. I just don't know which songs off my list they'll unseat, though I'm fairly certain Norway, Greece, Estonia, Cyprus and Lithuania are safe.

Songs I'm absolutely sure will go on.
NORWAY: Catchy song with a folkish beat, sung and played by a cute kid. One of the better songs this year.
GREECE: I want to know how Greece gets away with sending the same song each year. That doesn't change the fact that the main singer is hot and is undoubtedly going to wear some very tight clothes. Of course he'll get through.
ESTONIA: My other favourite song this year - haunting melody with a rythmic beat, and the performer sounds like she'll nail it.

Songs I'm betting on.
DENMARK: Horribly staid and boring song that sounds like it was stolen from the Ronon Keating songbook, but I think it'll probably go over well with some particular crowds. And the pan-Nordic circle jerk might give it a few pity points.
CYPRUS: Cute little girl with a sweet little song. She'll get some granny points, and points from the indie crowd. She can also actually sing.
HUNGARY: Unutterably boring dance pop song, but could get through, like Greece, if the singer is hot and the clothes are tight and the performance works out.
CROATIA: Likely song, folkish and at least well performed in the studio recording.
LITHUANIA: An effeminately handsome guy with a message song.
IRELAND: Seemingly Avril-Lavigne inspired pop song. Will appeal to teenage girls everywhere.
Albania: Utterly forgettable pop song, but could nevertheless go on.

Most likely upsets:
I had an unusually hard time picking the songs this time. There were a lot of songs that were equally horrible/forgettable/blah and I had a hard time trying to suss out what would appeal.
POLAND: For example, has a good song that sounds good in the studio recording. However, considering how the singer's voice quivers on certain notes, I'm worried that she'll sound horrible live. If she nails it, though, she's going through, no question - and if she does, she'll give the Icelandic entry a run for her money.
AZERBAIJAN: Just the same tosh everyone else is serving.
UKRAINE: See: Azerbaijan.
NETHERLANDS: This seems likely to be a glittery cheese-fest, but sometimes that works. (See: Love shine a light, with Katrina and the Waves.)

In the past few years, I've done this for myself, for my own amusement. I figured I'd see if I could have made a fortune at the betting banks :)

Countries that are near-guaranteed to move on to finals.
SWEDEN. Sweden has one of those boggling songs this year that actually worsens with repeat listening. That doesn't change the fact that the first time you hear it, it sounds awesome.
BELARUS: Rocked-up pop-ballad. Will get votes across the board from E-Europe.
BOSNIA HERZEGOVINA: In my honest opinion, one of the best entries this year. Folky-sounding indie pop with violins. Will get votes across the board from the Balkans, particularly as the band is well known.
TURKEY: It's Turkey. 'Nuff said.
MONTENEGRO: Upbeat, harmless pop. Sticks to your brain like superglue after first listening.

Countries that are very likely, in my opinion, to go on.
FINLAND: Catchy techno. Will draw votes from Germany, Benelux countries, the UK and Ireland, plus all of Scandinavia.
ROMANIA: Generic popsong about Balkan girls being party animals.
ICELAND: Can't tell if this is nationalism on my part, or it's because it's one of the very few ballads in this semifinal.
ARMENIA: Rhythmic folk-something. Is the kind of thing that looks good on stage. Definitely one of the more memorable songs this year.
MACEDONIA: Pop/rock that should work well for some.

Possible upsets:
BULGARIA: Replacing Macedonia or Romania, or less likely, Armenia.
MALTA: Replacing Iceland, or less likely, Romania or Armenia.

Now I'm curious to see how I'll do :)