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July 2019

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Merlin's Balls!

Preliminary Fic Post: Every Place That I Have Been (Leaves Its Message on My Skin)

Title: Every Place That I Have Been (Leaves Its Message on My Skin)
Genre: This part is pretty much smut.
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~ 7500 words
Warnings: Bondage, D/s, Orgasm Denial, lots and lots of swearing.+

Summary: Perhaps, it was best to forget Saturday and go on as if it had never happened. Provided, of course, they'd manage to avoid running into the same hurdles twice. This part inspired by this prompt. McCoy/Kirk, Academy days. Kirk looks pretty when he's begging. Orgasm denial kink ahoy.

First Part in this verse written for this prompt: I want a fic where behind closed doors, McCoy isn't quite as wholesome and squeaky-clean as everyone assumes he is. The man has desires just like anyone else does, but he's not stupid. He's a doctor (dammit) and has a professional reputation to uphold, and (unlike certain best friends of his) he's too professional/far-sighted to go sleeping around with potential patients and colleagues (especially since, perhaps, he's a kinky dirty boy in bed and doesn't want it to get around). So perhaps McCoy goes elsewhere for his sexual-kicks, or has plugged in to some sort of anonymous or kinky Academy subculture. Maybe in your fic he's a secret swinger, or maybe he has some clandestine taboo partner (where it works because of mutual need for discretion...Pike/McCoy). Could be a fic just about McCoy, or could be a fic where Kirk discovers this secret side of Bones (maybe Kirk is finally, finally invited to one of these super-clandestine swinger events and who does he discover is there but Bones?).

Part III in the 'Until the Morning' verse.

Part I - Friday Night - Where Will You Be When the Lights Go Out
Part II – Saturday - (Darkness) Held Me Like A Friend

Author's notes: So I figured this one wasn't done with me yet and I was right, but guys. GUYS. This stopped being funny 8000 words ago. *facepalm*

Also, here's the deal: Once I'd written the second and the third parts, I kept having trouble with the fic. The second part didn't match the original story properly, and the beginning and the end of the second part didn't match each other. It took me some pondering to figure out that,

1. The second part was actually two distinctly different stories (which is kind of hilarious because it was written in more or less one sitting!) and,
2. This is not a multichapter story. This is a series of stories taking place in the same general framework. Each story so far has corresponded to a single day in the narrative – I make no guarantees that this will hold true in the future – which means that there's a tone shift between chapters. I am the sort of writer who likes to let the stories choose how they're told, so I didn't try to wrestle them into a uniform narrative.

Since the whole thing got so Goddamn long, I'm posting it in preliminary posts on my RL journal. It'll get moved to the fic journal once I've gotten it betaed and coded – and once I'm sure the damn thing is finished, hah.

Every Place That I Have Been (Leaves Its Message on My Skin)

He wakes up to Jim's blue eyes staring at him and says the first thing that comes to mind, which happens to be, "Fuck, Jim, you're not thinking about freaking out again, are you?" It's not the most diplomatic of openings, but Jim's not a fan of diplomacy, thank God, and his mouth quirks up in a half smile.

"I can think about freaking out all I want, as long as I don't actually do it," he mumbles, pressing closer, kissing Leonard's collarbone, and okay, he has to agree with this turn of events. He can tell Jim is hard and he's slowly responding, blood rushing south as Jim trails kisses down his sternum.

"Can I suck you off?" Jim asks, and Leonard is suddenly so hard he's dizzy.

"Christ, do you even have to ask?" he replies and Jim grins up at him from the general vicinity of his solar plexus.

"I'm working on not being a control freak," he explains between one kiss and the next. "Expect a lot of questions." He dips his tongue into Leonard's navel and laughs when the Leonard pulls in his stomach.

"You do most of your thinking while you're asleep?" Leonard breathes, as Jim's mouth moves down his treasure trail with what feels like glacial slowness.

"Just after I wake up, actually," Jim says, before leaning down and kissing Leonard's hipbone, sucking a bruise into the skin and making Leonard pant with arousal.

He does remember what they were talking about, though. "I'm guessing your thoughts this morning were pleasant," he says when he gets his breath back.

Jim's eyes darken. "Actually, you wouldn't win any prizes for that guess, they weren't."

There's a pang of worry deep in his gut and he can't keep the concerned tone out of his voice. "You're still here, though."

Jim sighs and rests his cheek on Leonard's hip, looking up at him. "You sleep like the dead. I got out of bed earlier and managed to get completely dressed before I chickened out. Or, depending on how you looked at it, stopped myself from chickening out. I'm not sure which option is which, at this point."

"What stopped you?" he asks, sounding rough because of the way his mouth has gone dry with worry.

"Your door squeaks," Jim answers, and he's being completely honest, which is the funny thing because… "It does squeak, Bones," Jim reiterates firmly. "You never notice that sort of thing but it would have woken you up and all you would have seen was me turning tail and I kept thinking about that and I knew you'd be… angry."

"Disappointed," he corrects, getting a wan smile in return.

"And then I looked back at you and you just looked so good," Jim sighs. "I wanted to erase all of yesterday and get back to Friday night. So I undressed again and crawled back into bed and hoped like hell you'd wake up before I changed my mind for the third time."

"Glad I did, then," he says, because he can't think of anything better – and then he smiles, remembering. "You know, one of the last things you did before falling asleep on Friday was offering me anything I wanted. That still stand?"

"I…" Jim looks startled, then wary.

"Because," he goes on, figuring that it's only fair to put the cards on the table, "if we're ignoring yesterday, and pretending that you weren't being deliberately difficult, and that I didn't push you too far on purpose, and that we didn't argue, we'll need to start thinking about how to avoid a repeat."

Jim looks away and then sits up, still not meeting Leonard's eyes, hunching over and into himself, and Leonard thinks over everything he's said but he can't figure out what would elicit such a response. "And I think," he says, sitting up as well, "that one of the ways to stop it from happening again would be if you told me what you were thinking?"

Jim hunches in on himself even further and Leonard is at a loss this time. "I was going to leave figuring out what you need from me in return up to you," he says as gently as he can, hoping that he didn't make Jim somehow think that he was blaming the whole damn mess on him, because that's the best he can come up with.

"No, it's not that," Jim finally says, and then says nothing more.

"C'mon, Jim, talk to me," he snaps, and Jim's shoulders snap up and his spine straightens and 'huh' Leonard thinks, and files the reaction away under 'interesting' because he isn't sure he has time for it just then.

"This…" Jim starts, then stops and tries again. "You… I mean… I'm not…" he sighs.

Leonard tries very hard not to let his eyebrows migrate all the way to his hairline, but he's not sure he succeeds.

"I can make you some coffee," he offers, "if that would help you make sense?"

"See, that," Jim says, like he's making all the sense in the world. "I just. You keep offering to… and I didn't even know that you wanted…" he waves his hands, like that'll help him get his point across, "… and you're my best friend and I hadn't even thought… and I'm just."

Leonard stares.

"You said to tell you what I was thinking, you didn't say anything about it making sense," Jim groans.

"I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually," Leonard replies, still trying to work through Jim's line of thought. He's usually better at parsing him, but Jim hasn't given him very much to work with.

"See, right there," Jim says, throwing up his hands. "You did it again!"

He tries to add in this new bit of the puzzle that is Jim, hoping that it will get the rest to make sense, but he's starting to feel like he'll need a decoder ring. "What?" he asks, finally. "What did I do again?"

"'Eventually!'" Jim says, like it's supposed to make all the sense in the world and… hang on. Maybe it does.

"Jim," he says, and is quite proud that he manages not to shout it. "Are you trying to tell me it escaped your notice that I wanted more than just this weekend? That I want more?"

"Well," Jim says, somewhat shamefaced. "Not really. It's just… you keep blindsiding me with it. It's like… I know you probably did not actually have a plan for what you'd do if you ever slept with me, but it feels like you did! And I feel like an idiot because I never realized that you might ever want anything like this… from me. I mean, you were married, I guess you've wanted a proper relationship at least once, but me? Are you serious?"

"Yes!" he growls, before he can think better of it. Fortunately, it seems to have been the right response, because he's rewarded with the most brilliant smile he's ever seen on Jim's face, bright enough to take his breath away.

"Okay," Jim says softly. "Okay, we can try that." He's still smiling and it's not a smirk or a grin, either, it's a proper, full blown smile, happy and open and joyful and Leonard makes a promise to himself that he's going to try to keep that smile on Jim's face as long as he possibly can, and as get it there often as he possibly can afterwards.

"I guess we've figured out what you're going to need from me, in return for talking about what you're thinking," he sighs, giving into temptation and scooting over to wrap his arms around Jim from behind, ridiculously pleased when Jim immediately melts into him.

"What?" Jim asks, sounding surprised, and Leonard smirks.

"Hey, Jim?" he says, until Jim turns his head to look at him, and then pulls him in for a kiss, until they're both breathing hard. "I want you," he says, once they've broken apart. "Not just for now, for always. Okay?"

Jim lights up and smiles and then he clearly gets it. "Okay," he says. "I can live with that. Anything you want."

Leonard leans in. "Anything?" he asks, feeling Jim shake with laughter in his arms.

"Anything," he confirms. "Got something in mind?"

"Yeah," Leonard replies, kissing down the side of Jim's throat, before leaning back until Jim looks at him, confused.

Leonard smirks back. "Breakfast."


He makes waffles, because they're Jim's favorite, which earns him another one of these open smiles, though he fries up some bacon for himself. One of these days, he thinks, as he smacks Jim's hand with his fork for the third time, he'll just dish everything up on one plate and let Jim steal to his heart's content. Or feed him.

He gets distracted enough by that mental image for Jim to steal two slices of bacon without him noticing.

He's just stood up to get more coffee when he feels Jim come up behind him and crowd him against the counter, and he turns within the circle of Jim's arms get a deep, slow, positively exploratory kiss, which distracts him sufficiently that he doesn't even notice that Jim is undoing his fly until he's pushing Leonard's pants out of the way and sinking to his knees.

"I like to finish what I start," Jim says, licking his lips and smirking up at him, and god, that mouth, and Leonard is so turned on that he has to lean back and hold onto the counter to keep himself upright as Jim pulls out his cock and places a kiss just underneath the head, before looking back up, eyes dark and promising.

"Christ, Jim," Leonard says when he's held his gaze for a few seconds, "you're not supposed to make me beg, you know," and Jim's smirk widens before he leans in and licks a stripe up Leonard's dick, and suddenly he gets it, Jim was asking for permission, and if he gets any more turned on this is going to be over embarrassingly quickly.

Jim sucks him down, takes him deep, and his tongue is teasing at the base of his cock as Leonard pushes his fingers into Jim's hair, just holding for now, letting Jim lead, not that it's a hardship, Jim is very good at this. When he feels the first tingles of orgasm at the bottom of his spine he tightens his hands in Jim's hair, and Jim goes very, very still, then gives a tiny moan and rocks back into Leonard's hold on him, relaxing his jaw and god, how is he this perfect, Leonard thinks dimly as he thrusts into Jim's mouth, holding him firmly in place; how does he know to just stop and let Leonard take what he wants?

It doesn't take him long after that to come, and he doesn't let Jim up until he's sure Jim's swallowed. He almost gets hard again when he looks down and realizes that Jim, on his knees, has crossed his wrists behind his back, and there's an image he won't soon forget. "God, you…" he says, and then can't think what the rest of the sentence might be. He pulls Jim up instead and kisses him, pushes him into the counter and holds him there, and he can tell Jim is hard but he's not exactly sure what Jim wants, here. He's not eager to replicate yesterday's disaster, what he wants to do is to do it right, but Jim might not see it that way.

Jim, though, showing off his apparently new mind reading skills, solves the problem for him. "Bones," he moans, while Leonard is busy sucking yet another bruise into his shoulder. "Want… what you wanted to give me. Yesterday. Please."

He pulls back, though he doesn't let go. "Yesterday?" he asks, lifting an eyebrow.

"Sorry," Jim laughs. "In that bizarrely hot, yet kind of horrible sex dream we both had after falling asleep on Friday."

Leonard wants to smirk at that, but he just wants to be clear on this. "You sure?"

Jim responds by pushing off the counter and pulling off his shirt as he walks into the main area of the apartment, sitting on the bed to pull off his socks and pants. "Yeah, I'm sure," he says when Leonard goes to stand in front of him, and then he slides his wrists together and offers them to Leonard with a cheeky smile. "I thought this might be the part where you tie me up," he says, not really noticing that Leonard is fighting to stay in control of his reaction, thank Christ.

"Give me a second," he manages to say, more or less levelly, and goes to get the cuffs and the rope out of the nightstand.


This time, somewhat surprisingly, it is easy.

He lets it be sufficient to cuff one of Jim's ankles to the footboard and ties his hands together – in front, even – with one of his uglier ties, since Jim has enough of a rope burn problem to be going on with. He uses the opportunity, with Jim naked and pliant and willing, to really kiss him, to really let his hands wander, to really let his fingertips map every inch of Jim's skin. Jim whines high in his throat when Leonard takes a hold of his dick and jacks him slowly, bringing him to the edge before backing off.

"That should keep you," he says, smirking, though he's half-wondering if Jim is really going to go along with this.

"Evil bastard," Jim sighs, but all he does is curl up best as he can and snag the PADD Leonard offers him, with the reading material on it for the one seminar they both attend and start reading. He doesn't need his hands free for that, and he knows it, so he doesn't ask.

It's perhaps an hour later that Jim turns over, stretching out facedown on the bed, ankle still cuffed to the bedpost, tied hands crossed as he leans on his elbows to read off the PADD that he's put down in front of him. The position change has the somewhat unfortunate side effect of presenting Leonard with a pretty excellent view of Jim's ass. He figures it's possible Jim knows this, but Jim is totally allowed to attempt to catch flies with honey, so to speak.

His self-control lasts him for about fifteen minutes before he admits defeat after reading the same paragraph for the fourth time and still not understanding it. Jim looks up when the bed dips as Leonard kneels up on it, and his eyes darken when he takes in Leonard's expression, he pushes his own PADD away and whispers, "how do you want me?" in a voice that should simply be banned.

"Hands and knees," he replies, leaning over to get the lube from the nightstand, because it's been a while since last night and he's done enough damage for the weekend. They've established that he'll have plenty of time in the future to fuck Jim so that he can't sit straight for a week.

Jim complies, pushing himself up until he's on his knees, elbows on the mattress, his forehead resting on his wrists and he's gorgeous. "God, look at you," Leonard sighs, pushing his sweatpants down and kicking them off before getting closer. "I thought you'd look good on your knees, always have, but I had no idea."

Jim sighs, and something in his posture relaxes, though Leonard can't tell what, exactly. He leans into it when Leonard strokes a hand down his side, clearly welcoming the touch and Leonard wants him so bad he's not sure he won't come when he slicks himself up. "Please," Jim breathes when Leonard takes his hand away to open the lube, and he rocks back, like he can't bear not to be touched at the moment.

He doesn't even tense when Leonard puts his left hand on the small of his back and slides two fingers of his right into him, just lets out another one of these unbelievable little sounds he makes whenever Leonard touches him this way, something that's half a whimper and half a sigh, and while it would have hurt if Leonard had just taken him, he's relaxing into his touches unbelievably quick, pushing himself back to take in more, as if he thinks Leonard is going easy on him, somehow.

He moans at the loss when Leonard pulls his fingers out and whines when they aren't immediately replaced by his cock. "Fuck, Bones, fuck me," he says, and groans "yes" when Leonard presses in, trying to push himself back to get more, faster.

"What's the rush?" Leonard asks, slowing down because Jim is right, he is an evil bastard, and he likes to take his time, and now that he's here he has a better handle on his self-control. He' holds Jim by the hips and doesn't let him move, just leans in and lets it go slow, inch by inch, until he's balls deep and Jim is whimpering, his bound hands clenched tight in the coverlet.

"You're mine Jim," he whispers, leaning over Jim's back to breathe the words straight into Jim's ear. "If I want to fuck you slow, there's not going to be much you can do about it."

He pulls out, just as torturously slowly as he pressed in, still holding Jim's hips, setting a rhythm that's probably going to require him taking more time than anybody has ever taken with Jim before, and he's fine with this, absofuckinglutely.

Jim makes a noise of protest as soon as he realizes that this is the speed they're going to be going at, and the next time Leonard presses in, he chuckles, deep and dirty. "Think I can't keep up this tempo, Jim?" Jim shakes his head in mute reply, and Leonard laughs again. "You'll need to think again, baby," he says, and Jim groans, "oh God, Leonard," into the bedding.

It doesn't take too long for Jim to start shaking. He's fighting the hold Leonard has on his hips, trying to push back, speed up the tempo, anything, and he's moaning continuously now, nothing coherent, just a stream of 'oh's' and 'God's' and 'please's', and begging is not enough, he's waiting for Jim to mean it.

"Oh, God, Leonard, if you don't speed up, or do something, I don't… please," he finally says, and there's just the right note of desperation in his voice for Leonard to pick up the pace, letting Jim move, his thrusts going sharper and faster and harder, and Jim wants to come, Leonard can feel it in the way that Jim has gone tight around him, like he's waiting for that extra push, so Leonard avoids his sweet spot for the last few thrusts until he feels the tension snap at the bottom of his stomach and he comes, buried inside Jim, his forehead on Jim's shoulder.

Jim whimpers when he pulls out and only Leonard's arm under his chest stops him from collapsing face first into the bed. "No," he says, low but firm. "On your back."

"Bones!" Jim says, and he sounds wrecked.

"I want you on your back, Jim," he says, and he's not going to repeat himself a third time, but he doesn't have to, Jim gets the hint, turning over gingerly and gives Leonard his free ankle when he's asked to.

He doesn't cuff his legs wide open, just far enough apart that Jim won't be able to turn over onto his stomach until he's freed. He looks at Jim consideringly – he looks perfect, like he's been rode hard and put away wet, which is more or less true, and his cock is an angry red, clearly almost painfully hard. "Can I trust you with your hands, Jim?" he asks, gently, sitting down next to him.

Jim considers it, then blushes. "No," he whispers, shaky, and lets Leonard push his arms up above his head and tie them to the headboard. He closes his eyes almost straight away and keeps them closed while Leonard gets a washcloth and cleans them both up, even keeps them closed as Leonard kisses him, licking into his mouth, one hand on Jim's cheek.

"God, you're amazing," Leonard tells him, stroking down his side, before going to his desk to get some more work done.

He can't stay away, though, because with Jim laid out like that, he can't stop wanting to touch. Jim doesn't really seem to mind.


"You know what I want?" Jim asks conversationally from the bed. He has his hands back, though they're still tied at the wrists, and his legs are still cuffed to the bedframe, but he's somehow managed to twist himself up so that he's lying on his side on the bed.

"I thought we'd established that this isn't about what you want," Leonard replies mildly from where he's sitting at the desk, going over patient reports.

"Well, you did ask me to tell you what I was thinking," Jim says, smirking.

"Do I have to come over there and find other uses for that mouth?"

Jim laughs. "Well, I was going to suggest me coming over there," he says. "And crawling underneath that desk of yours."

Leonard blinks. He'd thought it would be a while before he'd be up for another round, but Jim Kirk is clearly the exception to every rule, because damn, yes, he wants that.

"You have the best ideas," he says, bemused, as he stands up to release Jim's legs.

He's not entirely sold on the idea being innocent, though, so he releases Jim's wrists, too, and then ties them together again – behind his back. Jim's pout when he turns him around makes him smirk.

"Still want it?" he asks lightly, not that he has any intention of letting Jim bow out now.

Jim laughs, shakes his head and then goes over to the desk to sink to his knees. The way he does it – graceful and practiced – makes him want to put Jim on his knees all the damn time.

There's something utterly decadent about sitting down in his desk chair and sliding towards the desk, knowing that Jim is under there. He'll have to persuade Jim to do this during office hours at the clinic sometime – when he has no appointments, mind – at least then he'll have positive associations with paperwork.

He opens his fly and pulls his cock out, because Jim's hands are behind his back, only to have a voice come from beneath the desk.

"You know, I could have done that with my mouth," Jim says, and Leonard throws his head back to laugh, because only Jim, and then he gasps when Jim swallows him down, down, down, and it's all wicked pleasure after that.


Leonard fucks Jim over the kitchen table after lunch. Jim is still loose and easy from earlier that morning, so when he slinks over under the guise of turning off the radio in the kitchen window, leaning seductively onto the table to reach across it, all Leonard has to do is pull Jim's sweatpants down, open his own slacks and take.

Jim makes wonderful little hitching sobs in time with Leonard's thrusts as he fucks him, hard and fast this time, and doesn't even try to touch his own cock.

As desserts go, it's an instant favorite.


Leonard is going to need to do a ridiculous amount of laundry after this weekend, not that he hasn't in the past after a Friday night at DeLuca's, but the thing is, if fucking Jim is going to become a regular occurrence, Leonard should probably try to make nice with Mrs. Gonzales in the third floor west side apartment, she has a washing machine in the basement.

He's thinking this as he gets his third pair of pants for the day out of the closet with one hand, the other one holding Jim's, their fingers entwined. It's a good thing he and Jim are the same height; since Jim wasn't planning on staying the weekend when he arrived and his clothes need laundering before he can be seen in them, but they can use the same exercise clothes and having Jim in his clothes gives him a bit of a thrill.

Not as big a thrill as getting Jim out of his clothes, of course, but still.

"Shower," he says decisively. "We reek."

Jim squeezes the hand he's holding. "You know, you can trust me on my own in the shower. You've got me past the point where jerking off would be worth it. Well past the point and off the map, actually. You're finishing this, you know."

"Of course I am," he replies. "And it's not about me not trusting you. It's about me wanting to wash your back and your hair and wrap you up in a towel afterwards."

Jim tries to look less delighted than he actually is, at that.

Of course, he lets Leonard do all the aforementioned things, and he also sits down in front of the toilet, leaning his head back into Leonard's lap and lets Leonard drag the straight razor over his skin because Leonard hasn't shaved with a safety blade since he was sixteen.


Leonard knows how to be a Doctor. He's been a Doctor for years, and a good one, if he says so himself. He didn't even need to re-specialize for Starfleet; he'd graduated as a general health practitioner and then done years as a trauma surgeon – most MD's entering Starfleet needed to pick up either one of those while at the Academy.

Leonard, therefore, has almost no med courses. There are good things about this; it means his courseload is lighter, so he can work, which also means he won't have to re-qualify for his medical license at the end of his three years, before assignment. (In addition, this means it's a great deal more likely he and Jim can get assignment together, which had been something he'd been carefully refusing was important, but he's probably allowed to admit that it is to himself, now.)

There are also bad things about this. He isn't at the Academy to learn how to be a Doctor. He's at the Academy to learn how to be a Medical Officer, which is something completely different.

"Tell me why this is important, again," Leonard groans, letting his head fall back into the headboard with a thud.

"M-Requisition Form 2.63D, 2.0-class forms in general or 'Information Technology for Medical Personnel 103' ?" Jim asks mildly. He's not even looking at the damn PADD, the fucker, because he had 'Information Technology for Command Track 202' last semester and he didn't even complain about it. It's unnatural.

"All of it," he sighs, throwing his own PADD down onto the bedspread.

"Well," Jim says, "M-Requisition Form 2.63D is the Med Department form for Uniform Requisitions, and as much as I'm sure your staff would appreciate the view were you to walk around naked, I'm pretty sure it's against regulations. 2.0-class forms are the ones that are directed to Starbases and outposts, as opposed to 1.0-class forms, which are directed to Starfleet HQ, 3.0-class forms, which are inter-operation, or 4.0-class forms, which are interdepartmental. And if you're going to be my CMO, you need to pass this course. Sorry."

"I'm a Doctor, not a Goddamn secretary," he moans. He hates paperwork.

"Look on the bright side," Jim smiles. "When you make CMO, you get a secretary."

"That doesn't make me any happier now," Leonard sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"What would?" Jim asks. "Coffee? Bourbon? Sweets? Afternoon delight?" His smile turns predatory and he puts his own PADD down before climbing into Leonard's lap and bringing their lips together, hands in Leonard's hair, pulling him closer.

"I am," he whispers into Leonard's ear after a few breathless moments of kissing, "as they say, at your disposal."

Jim laughs like a loon when Leonard sweeps all the papers off of his side of the bed so that he can turn them over and throw Jim down onto the bedspread to drive him a little crazier.

It's been a while he's had someone to just make out with, after all, and when he lets Jim go a while later they're both flushed and breathing hard, and Jim offered to blow him but it's only been a couple of hours since lunch and Leonard can't get it up again so soon for love or money, more's the pity. He'd have appreciated the excuse to get away from the damned forms.


"I'll make you a deal," Leonard offers. He's buried to the hilt in Jim, who he's got bent over the footboard of the bed, (another one of Jim's brilliant ideas, who'd suggested it as a reward for good behavior when they finally made it through the homework) and Jim is at the point where he's shaking again, tight and tense around Leonard's dick, the need to come nearly overwhelming him.

"Oh God," Jim says. It's more or less all he's been saying for ten minutes.

"You're allowed to come anytime, provided you can do it without either of us touching your cock."

"Bones," Jim whines, "I can't. I've never been able to. Please, Bones, God, please, I can't…"

"Well," Leonard replies, biting at Jim's earlobe and holding it until Jim goes still and stops trying to move to control this, "then I'm afraid you must rely on my generosity."

He thrusts into him and Jim cries out, starts trying to move again and Leonard has to stop again until Jim gets that he's not allowed to. It's alright, Leonard has plenty of time.


Leonard ends up making a run to the corner store at dinnertime to pick up some beer and re-stock his pantry – he had planned for a houseguest for the weekend, but he hadn't planned for Jim who is allergic to everything. He looks a little wistfully at the shrimp in the store freezer, then shakes his head at himself; he likes seafood but he likes Jim better.

He's just glad his grandmother taught him how to cook, because Jim has weird issues with most household replicators and can't eat takeout because he can't be sure what the hell is actually in it. If the old adage that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach holds true, Leonard has probably been holding the key to Jim's heart for a while, because he's pretty sure Jim lives on bread and cheese unless Leonard cooks for him – the man is a disaster in the kitchen.

He's only been gone fifteen minutes but Jim greets him at the door like he's been gone for days and Leonard could definitely get used to that. Jim is still looking a little startled; he'd been surprised when Leonard decided to go, because Jim has absolutely nothing presentable to wear out of the house until Leonard has laundered his clothes, so he couldn't go with him. Leonard isn't exactly sure whether Jim is more surprised that Leonard left him alone, trusting him not to take… matters… into his own hands, or that Leonard left and then came straight back to him. Knowing Jim, it might be either one.

They end up eating in front of the TV, because Jim is a secret news-addict, and the domesticity is oddly familiar despite the fact that they’ve been doing this for less than twenty-four hours. Leonard thinks, 'we were always headed for this,' to himself when Jim gets up for seconds and takes Leonard's plate too, without being asked or asking. It's an oddly comforting thought, considering the two day mental obstacle course they had to traverse to get here.

Hell, Jim's been introducing Leonard to people as his CMO almost since the day they met on the shuttle, and Leonard has gotten used to thinking of Jim as his Captain.

"Penny for them," Jim says, breaking the silence that fell after the news were done and Jim had taken the plates back to wash – the only task he's allowed to perform in Leonard's kitchen.

"This was inevitable, wasn't it?" he replies and Jim snorts as he dumps the plates and starts the water running. Leonard leans on the counter next to the sink, just watching him because he can, now.

"When you did your little psychic routine last night, you missed something. While I was downtown, Hannity commed."

"Refresh my memory?" Leonard says – he's older than a lot of the Cadets and he and Jim don't always move in the same circles.

"Fourth year last year, assigned to the Farragut at the moment, Science Division, telemetry specialist. Tiny, blonde, beautiful eyes… she was the acting Science Officer the first time I did the Kobyashi Maru," Jim recites.

"Right. We went out for drinks afterwards and Zelazny had to carry her home."

"That's the one!" Jim grins. "She comms every now and then for a chat, we talk about the weather... you know."

"And she commed you yesterday?" Leonard asks, not sure where this is going.

"Yeah, while I was at the stage where I wasn't planning to talk to you ever again. That stage came after the stage where I was determined to punch you the next time I saw you." Jim grins. "So it was obvious that something was going on, and when she asked what was wrong, I told her I'd slept with you. She was really surprised." Jim looks amused.

"She was?" he asks.

"Yeah, she thought we'd been dating for years," Jim laughs, putting the last fork in the drying rack and taking the plug out of the sink. "Apparently, it is common knowledge that you and I are in an open but committed relationship. The way Hannity tells the story of our epic romance, she's got the beginning right, that we met on the shuttle, but then we're supposed to have started dating about two months after that – probably because of that time I accidentally ate those cookies with the coconut and went into anaphylactic shock and you slept over in my room to make sure I didn't crank in the night."

"How could I forget?" Leonard sighs.

"So yes, inevitable is one way of putting it," Jim says, drying his hands and turning towards him, stepping up close and putting his arms around Leonard's waist. "Are you done with schoolwork?" he asks.

"Yes," Leonard replies, his arms automatically going around Jim and pulling him in.

"Actual work?" he mumbles into Leonard's neck.


"Great," Jim sighs, and Leonard can feel his hard on against his hip. "You haven't fucked me in four hours, I'm feeling deprived."

Leonard smiles into Jim's hair. "You know I can't keep this up forever, right?"

Jim shakes with laughter in his arms. "I'm pretty damn impressed you've kept it up this far, Bones. I wouldn't keep suggesting it if I wasn't counting on you to let me come before you're all fucked out, and since I haven't come yet…"

"We're going to need to do something about that," he murmurs, and Jim shivers, the mood suddenly gone from playful to sensual.

"Please," Jim sighs. "I've been half-hard since last time, I don't know what you're doing to me, Bones."

"You don't need to know, you just need to let me," he answers, and Jim shivers again.

"Please, Leonard," Jim says, and Leonard leads him out of the kitchen and towards his bed, peeling his sweatpants down before pushing Jim to sit on the edge of the bed, kneeling down to take them off. When he looks up, Jim has pulled off the t-shirt he was wearing and is staring down at Leonard with heavy-lidded eyes, pupils blown, lips kiss-bruised and bitten. "How do you want me?" he asks and it's for the second time that day but hearing it is no less heady now than the first time.

"On your back for now," he says and pulls his own shirt off, before getting the tie they've been using for Jim's wrists from the nightstand. "Give me your hands," and Jim slides his wrists together, holding them out, and Christ. He winds the fabric around his wrists, knotting it firmly, watching as Jim tests the give and then shoots him a lazy smile. "Up," Leonard tells him, and Jim puts his wrists up above his head, where Leonard can tie him to one of the pilasters of the headboard.

"I'm just waiting for you now," Jim says, cheekily, and pulls his knees up and apart, which was a mistake on his part if he was hoping to hurry Leonard along.

"I don't think so, Jim," he says, and gets more rope. Jim doesn't protest when Leonard ties his ankles to the bedposts, but he does go very still, almost wary, watching his every move.

"Do you want me to beg, Bones?" he asks quietly when Leonard pulling the last knot taut.

He undresses the rest of the way before climbing up onto the bed and leaning down over Jim, meeting his eyes. "Yes," he whispers, and Jim closes his eyes and turns his head to the side, and Leonard can feel him tense up beneath him. He knows what he just did, though, and he's ready for it when Jim turns his head back to look up at him, opening his mouth and taking a deep breath.

He puts a finger across Jim's lips in the universal 'hush' gesture and meets his eyes.

"Listen to me, please, Jim, before you say anything," he says gently, and waits until Jim nods. "Yes, I want you to beg, because I want to make you beg. I want to make you feel so good that all you can think about is more. I want to make you forget that other people exist. I don't get off on denying you what you want, Jim, I get on making you want more and more and then giving that to you. I get off on making you wait for it, but you don't have to work for it. Never. Do you understand me, sweetheart?"

Jim is looking at him, stunned, and Leonard waits, listens to the way Jim is breathing and hopes he hasn't just royally fucked this up, but he's pretty sure there was no other way to get the point across, Jim is too used to pretending to really believe it when people ask for his honesty. Leonard's seen more of the real Jim in the past weekend than he'd usually see in a month, but he wants – no, needs - Jim to understand that the façade isn't necessary at all.

"We can stop," he says, when the silence stretches on, Jim still looking a little like he's been sucker punched. "You can think on it for a while."

And that turns out to have been the right thing to say, because Jim suddenly smiles at him, shaking his head a little. "Fuck, Bones, you're really something," he says, but there's laughter in his voice, and then he arches up, as much as he's able, taking a deep breath. "I'm waiting for you to make me forget other people exist," he says and opens his lips sweet and easy when Leonard kisses him, so giddy with relief that he needs a while to collect himself.

"You've been so fucking good for me today," he whispers against Jim's lips when he's found his equilibrium again, and Jim sighs and relaxes and that's it. "God, Jim," he breathes and kisses his way down Jim's neck, biting down a little when Jim throws his head back to give him better access, before setting out to make Jim want more than he's ever thought he could have.

Jim starts making noises for real when Leonard moves down to his hips, licking down the crease leading from his hipbones to his balls, sucking at his treasure trail, fingers stroking the inside of Jim's thighs until he's moaning, and then he leans down and sucks one of Jim's balls into his mouth.

That gets him a scream, and he would smile but he doesn't want to let up, so he keeps sucking, gently, and uses a thumb to press down on the small patch of skin behind Jim's balls, which makes Jim all but shout his name. Jim is trembling, his breathing uneven, and when Leonard finally moves back he laughs, shakily. What he says, though, is; "I remember at least three other people," and that's just too cheeky, so Leonard puts his hands on Jim's thighs and leans down with all his weight, and then licks a long stripe up Jim's cock, from root to tip, swirling his tongue around the head once, and then breathes against the wet skin.

"Ohgodohgodohgod," Jim whimpers and he'd buck up into him except Leonard is holding him down.

He slides his hands up when Jim has stopped straining against him, holding him by the hips, sucking a kiss into the inside of Jim's leg and waits for Jim to realize that he can't come down from the sensation of Leonard's mouth on his cock – it was a calculated move, and he knows exactly how badly Jim needs something right now.

"Oh god, Leonard, fuck me," Jim sobs, finally, when Leonard has peppered his skin with kisses everywhere but where he wants them the most. "Please," he adds, when Leonard leans up to meet his eyes.

"You only had to ask," he says, and Jim laughs at that, shaky and weak, and he melts into the bed now that Leonard has stopped teasing him, barely even moving his legs when Leonard unties the knots around his ankles.

"Turn over," he says, and helps him do just that, and then pushes him towards the headboard, supporting him until he's kneeling but upright, holding on to the top railing of the headboard, knees spread and his head thrown back onto Leonard's shoulder, eyelids at half-mast and damn but he's beautiful. He strokes a hand down Jim's side and whispers, "God, you're perfect," into his ear.

Jim just arches into the touch and breathes out, "please, Leonard, please," and he moans when Leonard finally pushes inside him, no prep necessary because God, it's the fourth time he's fucking him today and Jim is willing and pliable and so fucking flawless like this, it takes his breath away.

And then Jim just holds on and lets Leonard fuck him, crying out with every thrust, things like, "God, please, harder, faster, Leonard, please, please, please," until he's rocking back into Leonard's strokes and Leonard knows that he's hitting his sweet spot every time.

"I need, Leonard, please, touch me," Jim begs, "I can't… you… please."

So he slides a hand down and wraps it around Jim's cock and he's hardly touched him when Jim goes still in his arms, and despite how loud he's been, he comes with barely a sound.

Jim's climax is enough to bring Leonard over the edge, Jim's body tensing and then fluttering around him, and then Jim goes utterly boneless and would've fallen on his face if Leonard wasn't holding him up.

He lowers him gently down onto the bed, and then picks apart the knots holding Jim's hands to the headboard, rubbing Jim's wrists as he releases them, amused when Jim just lets his arms fall where Leonard drops them without even trying to pull them towards him.

He goes and gets a towel and Jim doesn't respond at all while Leonard cleans him up, just lets himself be moved around like a puppet with its strings cut. "You okay?" Leonard asks when he finally sees slivers of blue beneath Jim's eyelids as he prods Jim into a more comfortable position.

"I don't think I can move," Jim replies, though he doesn't look like he's trying particularly hard.

"You don't have to," Leonard says. His muscles have turned to jelly after the workout he's given them today and he's happy staying right where he is.

"Bones," Jim finally says when his breathing has evened out and he's starting to move a little, like his faculties are coming back online. "That was… thank you." He's lying with his head on Leonard's shoulder, and he manages to pull himself in closer, curling around Leonard's side, and turning his head to drop a kiss above Leonard's heart.

"Trust me, sweetheart, the pleasure was all mine," Leonard replies, stroking Jim's hair away from his face before leaning down and kissing him on the forehead. "Go to sleep, Jim."

"Yeah, yeah," Jim mumbles, closes his eyes, but somehow unerringly manages to catch Leonard's free hand in his, entwining their fingers and squeezing before dropping off.


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That was very satisfying. I am really enjoying this whole little series. It's interesting to see how the part Jim's really freaking out about is the emotional/intimacy issues involved in letting Bones actually care for him, rather than just sleep with him.

I do have one question though. In the first part you have Jim and Bones specifically discussing a tutoring session Jim has on Sunday after their usual brunch. However here they spent the whole day together and Jim didn't leave Bones' apartment. Is there something I'm missing here?
"Little" series? *g*

I'm glad you're enjoying the stories, especially if you're enjoying the second and third parts, because I was pretty happy with the first part but a lot more unsure about those two - also because I'm pretty sure this one isn't done with me yet, so it's good to know people are reading and it's worth it to keep writing.

As for your question, ah, yes, this is what happens when you write a short story that unexpectedly develops into a long story; you go in without a plan and end up with scheduling conflicts ;) So no, you're not missing anything, I am.

*facepalm* - This is why I usually sit on fics for a bit before editing them, it helps me notice these things, but the kinkmeme moves so fast... It'll get fixed when I post the final version. Sorry!
This series is fantastic. So hot and I love the emotion and intensity. This is absolutely wonderful. Thank you for sharing. <3
Yay, I'm glad people like it, because yikes, this one was a bit of a struggle :D

Thanks for letting me know you liked it! (And thanks for your extremely timely posting of that Karl Urban pic spam! I was so stuck, and then you reminded me just how hot our Bones is *g* )
I'm enjoying this series a lot.
Ohhhhh. This series is SUPER-fascinating. Your characierization is very convincing ... the scene where Bones can tell Jim almost exactly how he'd spent the time apart -- and yet Jim is surprised that he can -- is 100% A++++ so perfect. Oh, boys.

THANK you for writing this!
The boys are idiots, aren't they?

Glad you liked it, and thanks for letting me know you did!
I rushed through it for now due to lack of time, but I love Bones being on top like this, and understanding Jim so much. Woah. Cool.

And it's fucking HOT! :)

I'll make sure to tune in with more time when it's all officially done. Yum :)

It's... I'm working on the fourth installment, but it's resisting. Go figure.

I'm glad you liked it so far, though!
My immediate response upon finishing this:


I love your stuff, sweetie, and this is particularly awesome. Lovely.

There will be more installments in this verse, they just aren't very cooperative. *sighs*

But thanks for letting me know you like it so far :D

This series blows me away - I read all of it with my mouth hanging open. This is amazingly good. It's sweet, and intense and really kind of perfect. I can seriously *believe* in this Jim and Bones.
YAY. I'm glad you liked them that much! Thanks for letting me know you did!
Ooh, what a fascinating and intense series this is. I'm really enjoying seeing how they negotiate this.
Thanks for letting me know you're enjoying it ;) There is a fourth installment in the works but it is resisting attempts to put it down on paper. It's being worked on ;)
Oh my stars, this is insanely hot. I love the characterization of both, but especially of Jim. Very nice!
Yay, I feel a little bit like I'm still figuring Jim out, so I'm glad you like him, in particular :D

Thanks for letting me know you did!
This was absolutely gorgeous, so hot because of the care and dedication b/w the characters. Great job; thanks for sharing!

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for letting me know!
The sex was hot (of course) but the psychology of this made me squirm in too many ways to count.

Nicely done.
I'm... thinking of the psychology of therapy ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed it. There is a fourth installment in the works, it's just not really amenable to be put down on paper :D

Thanks for letting me know you liked it! ♥
my head is spinning from all the hotness, especially the mind games. I love that you have managed to write bondage kink with a side of fluff (breakfast? studying in bed? definitely fluff). And that, my friend, is talent.

Hehehe, I'm glad it worked for you on both levels, because that was the point :D

Thanks for letting me know you liked it!
I am loving this series
Thanks for letting me know you liked it!

That was so amazing. I feel like I'm high from reading this, it was so HOT! So hot my brain has melted from the awesome, I'm probably useless for the rest of the day.
Heheh, I hope you weren't really useless for the rest of the day! I'm glad you liked this, and thanks for letting me know you liked it!
nice, and oh teh heat!

Glad you liked!
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